Something's Missing

there jus is something missing from my life at this moment....went sentosa wif 3 other pple and 1 of them was my ex-gf.....i somehow felt lost at wat im supposed to do....juz kept looking her not knowing wat i shd do, wat shd i have done.....i felt so helpless not being able to do anything abt the whole situation and also feeling sad cos it seems like talking to her is like talking to a stranger nowadays....

somehow or rather she has changed.....i asked myself whether she was the ONE i was chasing after a few yrs back....well for one, pple change....watever she might be yesterday might be history and pple can juz change their attitude towards things.....it seems tt ever since she reconcile wif jr, she has become more knowing of things happening ard her......she even talked to me abt soccer....how amazing is tt?? she seem to be goin drinking much more now....and i thought she wont even go clubbing but it seems tt she has.....she's goin zouk sometime next wk.....when i heard all these i was like "wow...u happening now ah...drinking and all..."

i kinda became disappointed tt after leaving me she actually became somehow tt i was beginning to slowly not recognise anymore.....when i went after her 4yrs back, she juz has this cute little girl next door look....but now i guess she has matured huh.....having said all tt, it made me feel worst.....i felt somehow more hopeless as i seriously feel tt i wan to stop all these in her but i juz cant.....watching her change to wat she is now seems to be something tt i find hard to accept....arghhhhh feeling kinda vexed now.....tired but not in the mood to sleep especially after started thinking of her.....y does things have to turn out this way?? i tell myself tt i would always have this small space in my heart for her and tt i would always carry a hope, no matter how small it is.....so i am hoping......hope tt God will and would open up her heart and show her who is more sincere towards her......if tt day really comes, then i muz say we r definitely fated to be together.....

i'll always remember this phrase tt ft told me once, "if ure fated to be together, she will come back into ur life...in the meantime move on and show her tt u r happier than her in more ways than one..." thx jie....wont forget ur words....those were the words which made me move on wif life, rather than being trapped in an era of loss and confusion....but after wat happened today, i realised tt she is still in my heart and everytime i talk to her it seems weird and tt it really sucksss....maybe this is the chapter of my life huh.....=(